Congratulations—If you Missed the Trump Show (And Saved Brain Cells)

Today’s Presidential Power Hour Was Brought to You by Lies, Grievances, and Beef with CNN

Dear Fellow Sanity Survivors,

If you had a job to do yesterday, a family to care for, or literally anything better to do than watch Trump hold court like a cranky Game of Thrones villain with a golf tan, congratulations. You escaped the rhetorical dumpster fire masquerading as a press moment.

That’s right—while you were being a productive citizen, Trump was once again seated in his gaudy, gold adorned Oval Office, flanked by a world leader who drew the short straw, and rambling like your drunk uncle at Thanksgiving with a QAnon subscription. (Yesterday was President of El Salvador)

Per usual, the episode of The Trump Hour: Grievance Edition was especially rich in delusion and low on reality. Here’s what you missed (and should be eternally grateful for):

Top 5 Trump Hits from Today’s Rant-a-Palooza:

1. “CNN hates America.”That’s right. Not disagrees with him. Hates America. Because nothing screams patriotism like publicly attacking a free press in front of international allies. Welcome to the “Treasonous Media” world tour.
2. “I was the greatest jobs president in history.”Ignore the layoffs, the deficit, and the fact that millions of jobs were lost on his watch during COVID. He’s rewriting history with Sharpie-level confidence.
3. “The 2020 election was rigged. Everybody knows it.”Oh we’re still doing this? Yes, we are. Like a scratched record left out in the sun. This man could win a gold medal in Olympic-level denial.
4. “I had the best relationship with all world leaders—except the weak ones.”You know, like the leaders of our democratic allies. But autocrats? Chef’s kiss. Because why align with democracies when you can get love letters from Kim Jong-un?
5. “They’re trying to take your country away with DEI, open borders and men in women’s sports.”A perfectly rational sentence if you’ve had three hits of Fox News and a Mountain Dew Code Red before breakfast.
   
   He also managed to:

• Refer to himself in the third person multiple times.
• Mumble through the Constitution like it’s an unfamiliar menu item.
• Say he’d like to many more criminals to El Salvador, even US citizens.
• Praise tariffs (again) like they’re not crushing working-class families.
• Brag about Putin respecting him and saying Ukraine started the war.

If You Missed It, You Win.

Because while Trump droned on like a malfunctioning AI programmed by Steve Bannon, you were doing anything else: folding laundry, saving lives, working, napping, breathing fresh air, or simply not ingesting toxic rhetoric. Good job.

And for those of you who did tune in?

We’re sorry. May your blood pressure return to normal soon.

This is your regular reminder:

• It’s not normal.
• It’s not harmless.
• It’s not “just Trump being Trump.”
• It’s dangerous, delusional, and degrading to our democracy.

So tonight, raise a glass (or two) to being informed without being brainwashed.

To rejecting the circus of narcissism and nationalism.

To choosing sanity over spectacle.

And to never—ever—mistaking volume for truth.

Stay alert. Stay loud. Stay the hell out of Trump’s reality distortion field.

With all the sarcasm and solidarity,

Julie Bolejack, MBA

#YouMissedItAndWeSaluteYou

#PresidentialWordSalad

#LiesAndGrievanceTour2025

#CNNStillExistsDonald