He don’t want to hear about any affordability issue!

Julie Bolejack

09 Nov 2025 — 1 min read

Oh good news, America! There is no affordability crisis after all — President Trump has declared it so. Hallelujah, your wallet must be lying to you. Those empty grocery carts? Figments of your imagination. The gas pump that eats $80 every few days? Just your negative attitude manifesting inflation. And that rent check that jumped 40% since 2020? Stop being dramatic — it’s clearly fake news invented by liberal landlords.

Trump, in his infinite economic wisdom, has spoken reality into existence. You see, when he says prices are down, they are — even if your bank account doesn’t agree. The MAGA math is simple: if you can’t afford groceries, just stop eating so much (he fixed obesity too). Can’t afford a home? Perfect — he single-handedly solved homelessness, because no one’s homeless if you just redefine “home” as “wherever you’re standing.”

Forget those pesky facts from economists, or your credit-card statement glowing like a red-hot shame beacon. When Trump says America is thriving, it’s not up for debate — it’s a command. You’re supposed to feel prosperous, dammit!

So next time you’re filling your tank, buying eggs, or wondering how your electric bill costs more than your first car, remember: Trump says affordability is back, baby. So smile through the financial pain. Chant “USA! USA!” at the grocery checkout. Because if you just believe hard enough, your bills will go away.

After all, this isn’t reality — it’s Trumpality, where truth is optional, math is emotional, and anyone who disagrees is part of the affordability hoax. So quit lying on him, America. You’re doing great! He already fixed all the affordability problems! DUH

Julie Bolejack, MBA

juliebolejack.com

mindfulactivist.etsy.com

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