Let’s Talk About Obama—Since Trump Wants Us To

Dear Readers,

Donald Trump—Distractifier in Chief—has once again fired up the smoke machine, pointing his stubby little Twitter finger at Barack Obama like a magician screaming, “Look over there!” What’s he trying to hide? Oh, just his years-long cozy connection with convicted sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein. But since Trump insists on bringing up Obama, let’s go ahead and oblige him.

Let’s talk about President Barack Hussein Obama.

First Things First: No Sex Trafficking Friends

Unlike Trump, Obama never palled around with a known pedophile on private jets nicknamed the “Lolita Express.” There were no grainy photos of Obama lounging at Mar-a-Lago with Epstein. No stories of secret visits to Epstein’s private island. No weird sealed court documents looming like a storm cloud over his legacy.

Nope. Obama’s biggest scandal? Wearing a tan suit. Yes, a tan suit. Which, according to Fox News, was apparently a bigger threat to democracy than inciting a violent insurrection.

Remember Hope and Change?

Obama stepped into office in 2009 with the country in economic free fall. Bush left him with a financial crisis, two wars, and a nation that felt like it had just walked barefoot through a field of Legos. But within a year, the economy began recovering. Wall Street didn’t collapse. Auto workers kept their jobs. The unemployment rate dropped from 10% in 2009 to 4.7% by the time he left office.

Trump wants us to forget that Obama inherited a disaster and handed over a growing, stable economy—right before Trump lit it on fire with tax cuts for billionaires and a pandemic response that involved bleach.

That Whole Healthcare Thing

Obama got us the Affordable Care Act, a.k.a. Obamacare—something every Republican promised to repeal and replace and then… forgot to do. Because despite the theatrics, they had no plan. Meanwhile, over 20 million Americans gained health insurance, and protections for people with pre-existing conditions became law. Imagine that—using government power to help people instead of just rage-tweeting about them.

The Scandals That Weren’t

While Trump and his pals are tangled in actual indictments, felony charges, and classified documents in the bathroom, Obama gave us scandal-free governance. Don’t take it from me—his ethics were praised even by Republican ethics lawyers. There were no indictments of cabinet members, no kids locked in cages as policy, and no mugshots from booking at the Fulton County Jail.

Unless you count his March Madness brackets as controversial. Which, frankly, were often too safe.

Class, Dignity, and Sentences That Contained Verbs

Let’s not forget what Obama brought to the global stage: dignity, diplomacy, and the radical idea that a president should be able to read and write. He didn’t confuse Austria with Australia. He didn’t call fallen soldiers “suckers.” He didn’t say windmills cause cancer.

And let’s be honest—he gave one hell of a speech. Multiple, actually. Unlike Trump’s sweaty teleprompter rants that sound like they were drafted by a feral Reddit thread, Obama spoke in full paragraphs, with nuance, empathy, and an actual understanding of policy.

The Legacy Trump Can’t Touch

Trump is obsessed with Obama because no matter how many lies he tweets or AI-generated arrest videos he posts, he’ll never erase Obama’s real record:

• The Iran nuclear deal (which Trump tore up and replaced with… nothing).
• The Paris Climate Accord (which Trump ditched in favor of fossil fuel fantasyland).
• DACA (which Trump tried to end but the courts blocked).
• Marriage equality supported by his DOJ.
• Osama bin Laden, handled with stealth and precision—not bluster and a selfie.
  

Why This All Matters

Trump’s sudden interest in Obama isn’t a coincidence. The Epstein files are boiling. His trials are stacking up like bad steaks at Trump Grill. And so he returns to his classic hits: “Obama was born in Kenya,” “Obama is corrupt,” “Obama is the real criminal.”

It’s not strategy—it’s panic. The louder Trump yells “Obama,” the more afraid he is that people will start asking why his name comes up next to Epstein’s so often.

Let’s Keep the Focus Where It Belongs

If Trump wants to talk Obama, let’s do it—but not to distract. Let’s do it to remember what real leadership looked like. And to make sure that the man currently juggling court dates and campaign stops doesn’t gaslight us into forgetting that he’s the one with a mugshot, not Obama.

Stay loud. Stay smart. And never let a narcissist tell you where to look.

Your Sarcastic Scribe,

Julie Bolejack, MBA

(Missing that tan suit more every day)