Dear Fellow Contributors to the GDP, Congratulations! If you’re reading this, you’re still alive and presumably not yet laid out in a mahogany box with a tasteful satin lining, which means—fantastic news—you still have time to work! Forget those outdated fairy tales about retiring at 65.
OMG! It’s both unusual and unsavory to see Donald Trump using the White House Easter Egg Roll—an event historically reserved for families, children, and a touch of springtime magic—as a platform for commercial interests. What was once a cherished, apolitical celebration on the South Lawn is now
No One Mourns the Wicked A Special Dispatch from the Emerald City of Sanity - co-written with Glinda the Reasonable Dear Citizens of Oz (a.k.a. America), The curtain has lifted, the fog has cleared, and the spell of delusion has finally cracked—yet somehow, the Wicked still wander
Esteemed Readers, In light of the recent musings from our distinguished Senator Jim Banks of Indiana, who has so graciously identified the “Democrats” among us as royal pains unworthy of representation, it seems only fitting that we, the Whining Old Liberals, consider his subtle nudge as an invitation to explore
I must tip my hat—if I wore one—to the Trumpian method of answering questions. A journalist might ask, “Sir, why did your administration do X?” And quicker than a greased weasel on a slip’n’slide, the answer is, “Well, what about Hillary’s emails? What about Obama?
(Verse 1) Woke up with the weight of the world on my chest Dragging my dreams through a war with no rest Coffee’s gone cold, and my hands start to shake But I’ve got a fire that won’t let me break (Pre-Chorus) Every step feels like climbing
Her’s your Daily Dose of Sarcasm, Sanity, and Sentient Thought By someone who once read Mark Twain and decided that a little wit and righteous indignation never hurt a democracy. Dear Fellow Patriots (and the three Russian bots subscribed to this newsletter), There comes a time in every freedom-loving
By Philip Low (this is not a joke or entertaining message from Julie today) Facebook is trying to stop me from revealing Elon’s master plan, which is why they are not letting me pin the post below and are obstructing the delivery of messages sharing it which Is a
SUBJECT: BREAKING: The World’s First Trump/Putin MEME COIN! Because, Why Not? Dear Esteemed Subscribers (and the NSA Agent Monitoring This), Rejoice! History has been made, and you were lucky enough to be alive to witness it. Not the invention of penicillin, not the moon landing, and certainly not
In an age when common sense is as rare as a $3 bill and bad behavior runs rampant like a possum in a henhouse, it’s refreshing to see someone take a firm stance—preferably with a baseball bat. This week at the Chatterbox bar in Indianapolis, a bartender did
Dear Fellow Americans (and any remaining lovers of irony), Once upon a time, we were a nation that proudly accepted gifts—even ones we didn’t pay for. The Statue of Liberty? Oh no, dear reader, we did not foot the bill for that grand lady in the harbor. She
Ladies, gentlemen, and independent voters with chronic migraines, welcome to another week in these United States, where the news cycle moves faster than a toddler on espresso, and reality resembles a Mark Twain fever dream. Our dear leader—who, through a series of unfortunate events, once again occupies the White