How to Torch the Global Economy and Call It Freedom Fries Once upon a time in the Magical Land of Free Markets, someone read half a sentence in an economics textbook, fell asleep drooling on it, and then woke up with a revelation: Tariffs for everyone! That someone, of course,
A Stitch in Time Saves Your Sanity Now listen. I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but society is teetering on the edge, and we all know why: we no longer beat the stuffing out of inanimate objects when things go sideways. Enter: the Dammit Doll. This handmade, innocent-looking fabric
I cannot believe I have to say this in 2025, but here we are. While far too many women are obsessing over the perfect shade of gel polish or the latest TikTok contour trend, your basic human rights are being stripped away—right in front of your meticulously mascaraed eyes.
A Modest Proposal for Civilized Society Well now, Here we are again, nose-to-nose with that most dreadful beast: Monday. Nobody likes it. Nobody asked for it. And yet, like a mosquito at a picnic, it returns—week after week—uninvited, unwelcome, and humming with menace. Who, we ask, was the
This morning, I set out with a simple goal: to buy 4 donuts. FOUR: Not a philosophical doctrine, not a federal budget proposal, just four sugary circles of joy. I even knew what I wanted—a raised glazed, an apple fritter and 2 glazed cake ones. The donut shop was
Please Don’t Pre-Judge Others — A Personal Story of Injustice Dear friends - no wit or humor today, I don’t often talk about this part of my past. But in light of recent headlines—of people being rounded up, denied due process, and stripped of their rights under the
Dear Fellow Contributors to the GDP, Congratulations! If you’re reading this, you’re still alive and presumably not yet laid out in a mahogany box with a tasteful satin lining, which means—fantastic news—you still have time to work! Forget those outdated fairy tales about retiring at 65.
OMG! It’s both unusual and unsavory to see Donald Trump using the White House Easter Egg Roll—an event historically reserved for families, children, and a touch of springtime magic—as a platform for commercial interests. What was once a cherished, apolitical celebration on the South Lawn is now
No One Mourns the Wicked A Special Dispatch from the Emerald City of Sanity - co-written with Glinda the Reasonable Dear Citizens of Oz (a.k.a. America), The curtain has lifted, the fog has cleared, and the spell of delusion has finally cracked—yet somehow, the Wicked still wander
Esteemed Readers, In light of the recent musings from our distinguished Senator Jim Banks of Indiana, who has so graciously identified the “Democrats” among us as royal pains unworthy of representation, it seems only fitting that we, the Whining Old Liberals, consider his subtle nudge as an invitation to explore
I must tip my hat—if I wore one—to the Trumpian method of answering questions. A journalist might ask, “Sir, why did your administration do X?” And quicker than a greased weasel on a slip’n’slide, the answer is, “Well, what about Hillary’s emails? What about Obama?
(Verse 1) Woke up with the weight of the world on my chest Dragging my dreams through a war with no rest Coffee’s gone cold, and my hands start to shake But I’ve got a fire that won’t let me break (Pre-Chorus) Every step feels like climbing