Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, patriots and billionaires alike—welcome to the grandest, most luxurious, most patriotically profitable transformation in American history! That’s right, our 45th (and maybe 47th, depending on how much democracy we can shake loose) president, Donald J. Trump, has done it again. No longer
Dear Friends, Lovers of Reason, and Survivors of Social Media, It is with great reluctance (and a stiff drink in hand) that I must inform you of a grave threat to our civilization. No, not war, famine, or the unholy union of cargo shorts and dress shoes. I speak of
Dear Fellow Seekers of Sanity, Well, folks, here we are—Trump’s Second Term, otherwise known as Groundhog Day: Constitutional Crisis Edition. While the Democrats in Congress did their level best to demonstrate resistance during the State of the Union—some held up signs, others walked out, a few sat
In a world that often moves at a dizzying pace, finding inspiration can be the beacon that guides us through the fog. It‘a in the quiet moments of the morning, as the world awakes in a symphony of colors, reminding us of the endless possibilities each day holds. It’
In his recent marathon State of the Union address, President Donald Trump casually mentioned that his policies might cause “a little disturbance.” A little disturbance? That’s like calling a hurricane a gentle breeze. Let’s dive into the maelstrom of chaos he’s unleashed and ponder the dystopian future
Ladies, gentlemen, and those with functioning moral compasses, It has come to my attention—along with the attention of anyone still possessing a pulse and a newspaper subscription—that Representative Al Green was censured for daring to rise from his seat during one of former-president-turned-apparent-monarch Donald Trump’s latest forays
Ladies and Gentlemen, Fellow Victims of Recycled Ramblings, It is with great reluctance that I bring you this urgent plea: Donald J. Trump—pardon me, DonOld Trump—needs new material. I know, I know. It’s difficult to improve upon the classics: the grievances, the self-pity, the finger-pointing at windmills
My fellow Americans, What a time to be alive! Never before in history have we seen anything quite like this—because never before in history has a democracy so enthusiastically uninstalled itself. Some said it couldn’t be done, but folks, we did it. And I mean bigly. Let’s
The War for Democracy: How MAGA’s Media Machine is Undermining America’s Legacy For nearly a century, the world has looked to the United States as the bulwark of democracy. Through the World Wars, the Cold War, and countless international crises, American leadership—imperfect but steadfast—stood as a
By Someone Who Gave Up and Opened a Bag of Chips March: The Month We Were Supposed to Care About Kale March, as you may know, is National Nutrition Month—a time for reflection, renewal, and reintroducing ourselves to the vegetables we’ve successfully avoided for eleven months. The noble
This week, we had a (gasp) positive experience with a federal employee. I know, I know Marjorie Taylor Greene would have us believe that all federal workers are useless, overpaid, and don't deserve their paychecks. But let us introduce you to someone who absolutely earned every cent of
Well, folks, pack it up. Black History Month had a good run. A whole 28 days to acknowledge centuries of contributions, resilience, and struggle—before being neatly shelved again for the rest of the year. But now? Thanks to the latest crusade against anything resembling diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI)