First — a standing ovation. A slow, dramatic clap for those of you who achieved perfect non-participation so far. No “just browsing.” No accidental clicks. No “I was only checking sizes.” No pretending you were price-comparing as a hobby. You woke up. You lived your life. And you didn’t purchase
Congratulations, my beautifully stubborn Non-Shoppers — you made it through Day 1 without buying a damn thing. You walked past the ads, the “50% OFF TODAY ONLY!” lies, and the predatory countdown clocks designed to convince you that your life will collapse if you don’t buy a sweater you didn’
Day 1: The Refusal Today we begin our sacred four-day journey: No Black Friday. No Cyber Monday. No carts. No clicks. No impulse-driven capitalism rituals. Just vibes. While millions of people are refreshing websites like raccoons on energy drinks, we are sitting calmly in our truth — hands in our pockets,
A Gentle Thanksgiving Reminder (For the Overachievers, the Overwhelmed, and the Opt-Out Crowd) This is your official permission slip for Thanksgiving: You can go big. You can go quiet. You can go to dinner. You can cancel dinner. You can cook for twelve. You can order Chinese and call it
(From Those of Us Observing from a Safe Distance) Dear Brave Souls of the Stuffing, The Frontline Mashed Potato Battalion, And The Great Gravy Commanders, On this sacred week before Thanksgiving, we — the sideline sitters, the emotional supporters, the chair warmers, the strategically unassigned — would like to offer you our
And Other Fairy Tales About the Economy Remember when everything was supposed to be fixed on Day One? Inflation crushed. Economy roaring. Groceries magically cheaper. Gas behaving itself. America “back,” like a borrowed lawn chair finally returned. Fast-forward a few months and suddenly the language has shifted. It’s no
Dear Reader, Imagine dropping your alarm, skipping your commute, and treating your “job” like a weekend hobby. That’s the bold vision Elon Musk is selling: a future where work is optional, money is irrelevant, and robots and AI manage most of the heavy lifting. It sounds like science fiction
A Love Letter to Wasting Time Productively There’s a lot of “experts” out there right now telling us to stop scrolling. To put the phone down. To touch grass. To meditate. To “be present.” Well…respectfully, no. Because sometimes, what my nervous system needs isn’t presence — it’s
I’ll admit it: I pressed play thinking I’d casually watch twenty minutes before bed. Three hours later I was still on the couch, emotionally attached to men in powdered wigs, furious at British tax policies, and whispering “Give me liberty or give me sleep.” Ken Burns. Every. Time.
There’s a point in every political era where a country has to decide what it’s willing to normalize. And somehow, in America, we’ve spent nearly a decade pretending that Donald Trump’s endless stream of insults — the “piggy,” the “nasty woman,” the “horseface,” the “slob,” the “dog,
When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for a people to reaffirm the principles for which their ancestors bled, we are compelled to speak plainly of the injuries and usurpations inflicted upon us. A decent respect to the opinions of humankind requires that we should declare the
Yes — there are credible media reports that a number of senior officials in the Donald Trump administration have moved into housing on military bases or military-controlled residences in the Washington, D.C. area. Here are the key details: * According to an article by The Atlantic, several senior Trump appointees—including