Post game report:

College football game yesterday at Purdue. Here is MY injury report:

Current situation: 

🩻 Injury Report: Post-Game Debrief

1. Head Trauma

• Mechanism of injury: Repeated, unsolicited cranial percussion from the overzealous lady (behind me)

• Diagnosis: Mild concussion for Grandma from seven precision strikes to the dome, likely delivered with the accuracy of a vengeful woodpecker.

• Symptoms: Headache, potential dizziness, foggy thinking, and an increased need for personal space.

2. Severe Leg Cramping (cramps are a bitch)!

• Mechanism of injury: Prolonged athletic heroism, under-hydration, and possibly attempting to carry the team 

• Diagnosis: Quad and/or hamstring rebellion, aggravated by an electrolyte situation so dire it might be classified as “crampageddon.”

🧊 POST-GAME TREATMENT PLAN

🧠 Head: Concussion Protocol

• REST your brain: No screens, no intense mental tasks. Cancel that Netflix binge or listen to calm music.

• Avoid bright lights or loud noises: You’ve already survived auditory assault from behind — keep it chill now.

• Sleep: Lots of it. Your brain is literally rebalancing.

• Monitor symptoms: If you feel worse (vomiting, confusion, double vision, etc.), seek medical help immediately.

• Hydration helps the brain too – fluids aid recovery.

🦵 Leg: Cramping Protocol (a.k.a. “The Great Thigh Rebellion Recovery”)

1. Electrolyte Recharge

• Water + Electrolytes:

• Drink water regularly.

• Add a sports drink with sodium, potassium, magnesium, and calcium, or make your own:

• Water + pinch of salt + splash of OJ or coconut water.

• Magnesium:

• Supplement or foods like almonds, spinach, dark chocolate.

• Potassium:

• Banana, avocado, sweet potato, or even a glass of orange juice.

2. Heat & Massage

• Apply a warm compress or heating pad to the cramped area for 15–20 minutes.

• Gently massage the muscle — think more “encouragement” than “deep-tissue interrogation.”

3. Stretch It Out

• After it calms down, gently stretch the affected muscles:

• Hamstring stretch: Sit, leg extended, reach for your toes.

• Quad stretch: Stand, pull foot to butt (hold a wall if needed).

4. Prevent Future Ambushes

• Warm up properly before games.

• Stay hydrated before, during, and after.

• Regular magnesium & potassium intake if you’re prone to cramping.

🛌 OVERALL RECOVERY GAMEPLAN

• Rest your body AND your brain — no heroism needed today.

• Hydrate like you’ve been lost in the desert.

• Stretch gently, even if the cramps have subsided.

• Avoid seating near amateur percussionists at future games.

True story!

Julie Bolejack, MBA