Return to Sender: Why France Should Take Back the Statue of Liberty 🇫🇷🗽
Dear Fellow Americans (and any remaining lovers of irony),
Once upon a time, we were a nation that proudly accepted gifts—even ones we didn’t pay for. The Statue of Liberty? Oh no, dear reader, we did not foot the bill for that grand lady in the harbor. She was a handout from France, bestowed upon us with the rather naïve assumption that we’d always stand for liberty, equality, and a warm embrace for the world’s tired, poor, and huddled masses.
But alas, times have changed. The “wretched refuse” that Lady Liberty once welcomed? Well, the former President and his torch-wielding fan club would rather see them detained, deported, or conveniently lost in bureaucratic limbo. The whole “Give me your tired, your poor” thing? Let’s be real—if the Trump administration had anything to say about it, that plaque would’ve been melted down and recast as a big, gold sign reading “NO VACANCY” in bold, all-caps.
And so, dear friends, I propose a radical act of honesty: let’s pack her up and send her back to France. Clearly, we do not deserve her.
France, if you’re listening, we apologize for wasting a perfectly good statue on a nation that now treats immigrants the way a cat treats an empty food bowl—howling indignation followed by a swift, dismissive kick. You gifted us an icon of freedom, and we, in return, built walls, banned travelers, and turned seeking asylum into a crime.
Perhaps the good people of Paris could find a more suitable home for her—one where the words “liberty” and “justice” are not just decorative slogans on cheap T-shirts at airport gift shops.
In the meantime, let’s at least be honest about our new national motto:
“Give me your rich, your privileged, your well-connected heirs yearning to evade taxes… but keep the rest.”
Alive and Extremely Annoyed,
Julie Bolejack, MBA
P.S. If we must keep the statue, perhaps we should at least repaint the torch to say: “Closed for Renovations—Check Back in 2028”
