Sleep is Overrated (So Is Common Sense)

Dear Friends in Football Foolishness,

Picture it: Sunday night. Bills vs. Ravens. The popcorn is stale, the beer is warm, and you are convinced you’re watching a predictable outcome. Ravens are up by 15 with 4 minutes left. Fifteen points! That’s like seeing your flight has already boarded and deciding to drive home instead of running to the gate. Game over, right? Bills fans were leaving the game.

So what do you do? You perform the sacred ritual of the Overconfident Fan: click — TV off. You march off to bed, proud of yourself for not wasting another second. Self-care! Early bedtime! Responsible adulting!

And then Monday morning arrives like a linebacker blind-siding you on 3rd and long. You open your phone, scroll the scores, and—boom! Bills 41 Ravens 40. Wait. Excuse me? The Bills? They won. They actually pulled off a miracle while you were drooling on your pillow.

Congratulations. You just invented a brand-new form of fan cardio: the Heartbreak Snooze Workout™. Burn calories by turning off games early, then scream into the void the next morning when you realize you missed history. Your Fitbit doesn’t know what hit it.

So next time, remember: 4 minutes in football is basically 40 years in real life. empires rise and fall in 4 NFL minutes. Kingdoms collapse. Dynasties are built. And, in this case, the Bills came back and made you look like the person who left the concert before the encore—“Oh yeah, you missed Springsteen playing for two more hours with fireworks and free pizza.”

Final score: Bills win. Ravens lose. And you?

Biggest loser of all—because you chose sleep over chaos.

Lesson of the week: never trust a 15-point lead, never underestimate the Bills, and for the love of all things holy, never go to bed early.

Sleep when the season’s over.

Yours in sarcasm and regret,

The Newsletter That Stays Up Too Late

Julie Bolejack, MBA