Special Edition: You Know Your Democracy Is Being Taken Over If…

Her’s your Daily Dose of Sarcasm, Sanity, and Sentient Thought

By someone who once read Mark Twain and decided that a little wit and righteous indignation never hurt a democracy.

Dear Fellow Patriots (and the three Russian bots subscribed to this newsletter),

There comes a time in every freedom-loving nation’s history when you have to stop, take a breath, and say, “Well, this is fine,” as the Constitution goes up in flames behind you. But fret not, for we are here to bring you this helpful guide—delivered with the gentle tone of a barroom brawl and the nuance of a cannonball through the front door—to help you recognize when your democracy has been hijacked by a two-bit tyrant with a spray tan and an affection for authoritarianism.

You know your democracy is being taken over if…

1. Loyalty oaths become the new friendship bracelets.

If you’re in public service and not pledging allegiance to The Man, you might find yourself replaced by someone who will—preferably a guy with three teeth, two brain cells, and one deeply misguided sense of patriotism.

2. There are more military parades than public libraries.

Marching tanks = patriotism. Reading books = suspicious. Bonus points if the tyrant salutes awkwardly and thinks camouflage is a personality trait.

3. Independent prosecutors start disappearing faster than White House interns during an ethics seminar.

4. Everything’s the fault of the “deep state,” which apparently includes teachers, librarians, and your aunt who once donated to PBS.

5. Top military leaders aren’t just generals anymore. They’re “my” generals, like they’re Pokémon cards.

6. Political opponents are told to lawyer up or pack for prison.

Because what better way to celebrate freedom than with state-sanctioned retribution?

7. Landslide victories are claimed in elections lost by a landslide.

Math is hard. Especially when the numbers don’t agree with your ego.

8. International tensions are stirred up like a bad stew, with the occasional nuclear spice thrown in.

It’s the ol’ “Don’t look here, look over there where I might start World War III” trick.

9. Press conferences are replaced by midnight tweets in ALL CAPS with more exclamation points than a tween’s diary.

10. Judges and legislators are vilified unless they have the moral backbone of a jellyfish and the wardrobe of a lobbyist.

11. Voter fraud is claimed without evidence, which is a great way to keep grandma from casting a ballot while using her walker as a deadly weapon.

12. Journalists are called “scum” and “enemies of the people,” which is fun until you realize that’s page one of the dictator’s handbook.

13. Lies are told so often and so loudly that people start to think maybe the sun does rise in the west.

14. Immigrants and minorities are blamed for everything from job loss to climate change to burnt toast.

15. Deportation threats become as casual as weather forecasts.

“Tomorrow’s high will be 82°, with a 60% chance of ICE raids.”

16. Domestic terror? That’s the work of enemies within, not unstable loners. Solution? Strip your rights. You’re welcome.

17. Nepotism becomes a virtue. “Who needs qualifications when you’ve got my last name and a functioning thumb?”

18. Public office becomes a get-rich-quick scheme. Golf trips, trademarks, and a side hustle selling the Lincoln Bedroom on Airbnb.

19. Foreign dictators? Let’s be besties. Western allies? Meh. They read too much.

20. The propaganda machine hums along 24/7, claiming to be “fair and balanced” while spinning lies harder than a drunk DJ at a wedding reception.

Remind you of anyone?

Yeah. Me too. And this is why I can’t just laugh it off and hope it goes away like a bad comb-over.

So what do we do?

We speak. Loudly.

We show up. Consistently.

We support those who are taking this wannabe autocrat to court like their civil liberties depend on it—because they do.

We do not cower in the face of fear, gaslighting, or tacky red hats.

The time for passivity is long gone.

Now’s the time to join the resistance—with your voice, your vote, and your very inconvenient facts.

Keep fighting the good fight,

Where sarcasm meets civic duty.

Julie Bolejack, MBA

P.S. Don’t forget to donate to the organizations holding the line in court and in the streets. Because democracy isn’t self-cleaning.