Stop Calling Women “Girls”

Recently, our insurance agent — a woman — referred to the other employees in her office as “the girls.”

The girls will take care of it.The girls up front can help you.I’ll have one of the girls call you.

And there it was again. That tiny little word that somehow still survives in professional America as though we should all find it charming.

Girls.

Not women. Not colleagues. Not professionals. Not agents. Not staff members.

Girls.

I’m tired of it.

What irritates me even more is that women themselves so often use the term casually, automatically, almost affectionately, without seeming to recognize what they are reinforcing.

Because let’s be honest here: grown men are rarely referred to as “boys” in professional settings.

Imagine walking into a law office and hearing:

“The boys in accounting will handle it.”“One of the boys from HR will call you.”“The boys in the executive suite approved it.”

It sounds ridiculous because it is ridiculous.

Adult men are granted adulthood linguistically without question. Women, meanwhile, are often linguistically frozen somewhere around age fourteen.

And before someone says, “Oh, it’s harmless,” let me say this clearly: language matters because language shapes perception.

Words are never “just words.” They reveal assumptions, power structures, and cultural conditioning we barely notice anymore because we have been swimming in them our entire lives.

Historically, women were routinely infantilized in both language and law. For centuries, women were legally treated more like dependents than autonomous adults. In many parts of the United States, women could not even open a bank account without a husband’s signature until the 1970s.

The language followed the power.

Men were decision-makers. Women were “girls.” Helpers. Secretaries. Sweethearts. Hostesses. Decorative support staff.

And while society has evolved dramatically, remnants of that framing remain deeply embedded in our everyday speech.

Calling adult women “girls” may sound friendly or casual, but it subtly strips away maturity, authority, and professional standing.

A girl is a child.

A woman is an adult.

This should not be controversial.

Research on workplace language has repeatedly shown that women are more likely than men to be described using diminutive or infantilizing terms. Women are called girls, ladies, sweetie, honey, emotional, bossy, shrill, or aggressive in ways men simply are not.

Even titles reveal the imbalance.

Men are “men” from early adulthood onward. Women bounce between girl, female, lady, gal, young lady, sweetheart, miss, ma’am, and eventually — if society permits it — woman.

It is astonishing how uncomfortable some people still seem to be with the simple word “woman.”

I think many women use “girls” because it feels socially safer. Softer. Less threatening. More likable.

There is a cultural pressure for women to remain eternally youthful, agreeable, and non-intimidating. “Girls” sounds cute. Harmless. Approachable.

But I am not interested in being linguistically reduced in order to make others comfortable.

I earned adulthood.

I earned wisdom.

I earned the right to be called a woman.

And frankly, I think many women have unconsciously accepted language that diminishes them because we were conditioned to do so from the beginning.

Women are taught early to soften themselves. Downplay themselves. Laugh things off. Avoid appearing “difficult.”

So when someone says “girls,” many women simply let it slide because objecting risks being labeled sensitive, angry, humorless, or — ironically — difficult.

I reject that entirely.

Words shape culture.

If we constantly describe women with language associated with children, then we should not be surprised when women continue struggling to be fully heard, fully respected, and fully taken seriously in leadership, politics, business, media, and public life.

And no — this does not mean every casual use of “girls” is malicious.

Intent matters.

But impact matters too.

There is a difference between lifelong friends saying, “I’m having a girls’ night,” and a professional workplace repeatedly referring to adult female employees as girls while male employees remain men.

Context matters.

Power matters.

Language matters.

Some people reading this may think I’m overreacting.

That’s fine.

Women have been told they are overreacting for centuries.

But sometimes irritation is actually awareness. Sometimes annoyance is the mind recognizing something it once accepted unconsciously.

The older I get, the more I notice how language quietly reveals who is granted full adulthood and authority — and who is not.

I am not a girl.

Neither are the women working in offices, hospitals, law firms, schools, or businesses across this country.

They are women.

Professional women. Intelligent women. Experienced women.

Women.

And I think it’s time we started saying it.

Julie Bolejack, MBA

The Mindful Activist

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