Sure, I’ll Do It… Eventually. Maybe. Okay, No I Won’t.

When promises become performance art, and you’re left holding the to-do list.

We all have that one person in our lives—maybe more if you’re extra blessed—who treats follow-through like it’s an optional Olympic event. They enthusiastically declare, “I’ll totally do that!” with the sincerity of a golden retriever and the track record of a broken vending machine. And then… nothing.

Days pass. Then weeks. Sometimes a comet swings by and says hello. But that thing? Still not done.

So what is it—procrastination, gaslighting, or just lying with a sprinkle of enthusiasm? Let’s unpack.

First, the Benefit of the Doubt—AKA the Procrastination Phase

At first, you think, “Okay, they forgot. Life is busy. I’ll give them a gentle nudge.” You send a friendly reminder. You even throw in a smiley face so you don’t sound like a nag. They reply, “Oh my gosh, I was just about to do that!”

(They weren’t.)

But you believe them because you’re a decent human being and also because you haven’t yet entered the seven stages of disillusionment.

Then Comes the Repeat Performance—Now We’re Gaslighting

At some point, you start to wonder if you imagined the whole conversation.

You: “Hey, just checking on that thing you said you’d do?”

Them: “I don’t think I ever said I’d do that.”

You (checking your memory like it’s a malfunctioning hard drive): “But… you definitely did. Twice.”

Them: “Hmm. Maybe you misunderstood.”

Ah yes, classic gaslighting—the subtle art of making you question reality while the trash still hasn’t been taken out and the email to Aunt Carol is still unsent.

Stage Three: The Lies We Tell Ourselves About Other People’s Lies

This is when you start filling in the blanks with your own delusions.

“Well, maybe they were going to do it but the moon wasn’t in retrograde.”

“Maybe they’re waiting for Mercury to be emotionally available.”

“Maybe they need a vision board and a cup of herbal tea before they can act.”

No, friend. They just don’t want to do it, and instead of saying that like an adult, they’ve become the emotional version of the ‘Check Engine’ light.

Why This Hurts More When It’s Someone Close

When it’s your partner, parent, kid, or best friend—someone in your emotional VIP section—it doesn’t just feel flaky. It feels personal. You start to wonder, “Do they respect me?” or “Do they value my time?” or worse, “Am I turning into that person who nags like a sitcom wife from 1994?”

Spoiler: You’re not. You’re just someone who took people at their word.

So What Do You Do?

You could keep gently reminding them until you’re a walking Post-it Note.

Or you could unleash your inner sarcasm and say things like:

• “Oh, you’re planning to do it? Great! Should I pencil that in before or after the next eclipse?”
• “Do you want me to build a shrine to the day this task finally gets done?”
• “I’m thinking of getting matching tattoos for every promise you’ve made and not kept. I’ll need a bigger arm.”

Or—you set a boundary. Yes, that scary grown-up word. You stop rearranging your expectations around their unreliable calendar.

The Lighthearted Truth?

We all flake sometimes. Life gets messy. But when someone makes a habit of saying things they don’t do, it’s okay to say, “I need actions more than intentions.”

You don’t have to light them on fire. Just maybe don’t hand them your last match.

Final Thought:

Whether it’s a forgotten chore or a promise made 27 times and broken 28, remember: you’re not unreasonable for expecting people to do what they say. You’re just living in the real world while they’re still circling the fantasy island of Good Intentions.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go do something I promised myself three weeks ago. Unless Mercury objects.

Julie Bolejack, MBA