The Loneliness Epidemic: Now With Added Delusion
Let me tell you about my new hobby.
It’s called arguing with men on the internet who swear their loneliness has absolutely nothing to do with them.
Apparently, it’s feminism’s fault.
It’s women’s fault.
It’s TikTok’s fault.
It’s the economy’s fault.
It’s astrology’s fault.
It’s probably the moon.
But never — and I mean never — their fault.
You know what they keep saying?
“Women changed. They don’t want to cook or clean or submit anymore.”
Correct.
Gold star.
Participation trophy.
Clap and a half.
Women changed because they finally had the option to.
Let’s review, since some of y’all weren’t paying attention during the 20th century.
Women used to be legally treated like decorative houseplants — expected to be watered occasionally, shown off in company, and never allowed to leave the living room without supervision. Their survival depended on marriage because society kindly locked every other door and threw away the damn keys.
But then feminism came along and picked the locks.
Suddenly women went to college.
They built careers.
They traveled.
They made money.
They controlled their own reproduction thanks to birth control.
Fun fact: Today, single women are the fastest-growing group of homebuyers in America. In the 1970s, banks could literally deny women mortgages for… existing while female. Progress isn’t just real — it has a closing date and a set of keys.
Marriage stopped being the only door out and became one option among many.
And women took a long, deep breath and said:
“Actually, no. That’s not for me. Or not yet. Or not like that.”
And some men?
Absolutely lost their minds.
Because here’s the thing:
Women updated.
A lot of men didn’t.
Some of them are still waiting to be handed a wife the way previous generations handed out starter homes and company pensions — like some outdated loyalty reward from patriarchy’s clearance rack.
They were promised a castle.
Instead, they got a studio apartment and a strong suggestion to develop emotional intelligence.
And let me be clear — this doesn’t apply to all men.
But let’s be honest: it applies to enough of them that we’re having national conversations about it, podcast empires built on it, and online meltdowns about “high-value females.”
The loneliness crisis is real.
But what’s wild is the refusal to admit that loneliness isn’t just something that happens to you — it’s often something built by your beliefs, your expectations, and your unwillingness to evolve.
Because here’s the real slap-in-the-face truth:
You cannot demand a woman build a life with you when you haven’t built a life worth entering.
You cannot complain women are “too independent” when what you really mean is “I don’t want to compete with her peace.”
You cannot expect emotional intimacy when you treat emotional awareness like it’s a suspicious foreign substance.
Look — feminism didn’t make women hate men.
Feminism made women realize they could choose.
And when choice enters the room, effort suddenly matters.
So no, money alone isn’t enough.
A job isn’t enough.
A pulse is not enough.
If you want partnership, you bring:
• Emotional maturity
• Genuine curiosity
• Respect
• Actual conversation
• A personality not built entirely on podcasts and protein powder
Courtship isn’t dead.
It just requires more than showing up and existing.
And listen… this moment in history is actually a gift.
Because masculinity can be rebuilt — not as dominance, but as presence.
Not as entitlement, but as emotional fluency.
Not as control, but as partnership.
But here’s the catch:
That transformation requires work.
Actual work.
Not memes.
Not complaining.
Not 47 TikTok rants about how women are “too picky.”
So yes, a lot of men are lonely.
But here’s my honest question:
Are you lonely because women changed…
or because you refused to?
Because the world isn’t going backward to meet you.
It already boarded a new train.
You can either evolve and catch up…
or sit on the platform yelling at the rails.
And darling…
The rails don’t care.
Julie Bolejack, MBA
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