Which Part of Project 2025 Makes You Feel All Warm and Dystopian Inside?

Dear Friends in Freedom (or what’s left of it),

Let’s talk about Project 2025—because what better way to start the day than with a light dose of political dread wrapped in a bureaucratic bow?

Now, for those of you lucky enough to have been blissfully unaware, Project 2025 is the far-right’s master plan for a second Trump term. Think of it as a 920-page fantasy novel written by people who think the Handmaid’s Tale was an instruction manual, not a cautionary tale.

And just so we’re clear, this isn’t satire. I checked. Twice.

So here are 10 real gems from this fever dream they call policy. Please buckle up. And maybe pour a drink.

1. Fire Everyone. Literally.

Why stop at draining the swamp when you can bulldoze it? Project 2025 would let Trump replace thousands of nonpartisan civil servants with handpicked loyalists. Because nothing says “effective government” like firing career experts and replacing them with Cousin Greg from Truth Social.

2. Bye-Bye Department of Education

Education? Optional. They want to abolish the Department of Education and hand over control to the states. You know, the same states trying to ban books and rewrite history. I hope you’re excited for your grandkids to learn how dinosaurs rode the Ark.

3. Women? Go Sit Down.

Project 2025 includes a big fat rollback of reproductive rights, birth control access, and anything that smells like bodily autonomy. It’s practically a love letter to the 1950s—minus the decent music.

4. LGBTQ+ Rights? What Rights?

One of the goals is to eliminate protections for LGBTQ+ Americans, especially trans people. If you thought things were bad now, wait until the new administration brings conversion therapy into the Cabinet.

5. Climate Change? Fake News.

Their plan is to eliminate climate regulations, dismantle the EPA, and let oil execs write environmental policy. I guess we’ll all just tan through the apocalypse together.

6. Religion in Government—But Only Their Religion

They’re pushing to inject Christian nationalist ideology into every level of government. Because nothing says religious freedom like forcing everyone to live by your favorite chapter of Leviticus.

7. Mass Surveillance and Policing

They want to expand the power of federal law enforcement to target “enemies of the state” (a.k.a. you, me, and that girl with the Ruth Bader Ginsburg sticker). Just imagine ICE with even fewer rules.

8. Censorship Rebranded as “Patriotism”

Project 2025 calls for a “cleansing” of media and education to eliminate “leftist propaganda.” So enjoy this newsletter while you can, before I’m replaced by a Sean Hannity hologram.

9. Social Programs? Never Heard of Her.

Welfare, food assistance, housing support—chop, chop, chop. Because if you’re poor, clearly God intended it, and who are we to argue with divine austerity?

10. Militarized Border = More Dead Refugees

Under Project 2025, the border becomes a fortress. Expect mass deportations, family separations, and a level of cruelty so refined it might just win an award in authoritarian hell.

Now, friends, I need you to take action.

And I mean this sincerely:

Contact your Senators and Representatives—especially the Republicans.

Call, write, knock on their doors, slide into their DMs if you must. And ask them this simple, heartfelt question:

“Hi! Just wondering which part of Project 2025 is your favorite? The forced births? The book bans? Or maybe the plan to fire government workers who believe in facts?”

Make it awkward. Make it public. And definitely make it sarcastic enough to sting.

Let’s hold them accountable before “freedom” becomes a banned word in the next conservative edition of Merriam-Webster.

In resistance,

Julie Bolejack, MBA (Your sarcastic survivalist in the age of nonsense)

P.S. Still confused about Project 2025? Just picture Marjorie Taylor Greene with a red pen and access to the Constitution. Yeah, that’s the plan.